Social Network Anxiety

As I slip my rings off my fingers for the night and turn on some Anna Nalick, I realize you haven't replied to my Facebook message after at least a day. My heart drops. Then, I'm fairly sure my heart has dropped even further into my stomach as I become aware that you are currently online. You go offline as soon as I go online, and I begin having difficulty breathing. I try telling myself it isn't anything personal, but naturally, I jump to the worst case scenario. 


As a vague example, this is how it goes:


Message: So how are you?
(No reply after ten minutes.)
Thoughts: I guess he just isn't online.
(No reply after two hours.)
Thoughts: Did I say something wrong?
(No reply after five hours, seeing him going on and offline.)
Thoughts: Oh my god, he must have had an epiphany of some sort and decided that he isn't going to talk to me ever again. 
(No reply after a day.)
Thoughts: I really, really miss him and want to talk to him, but I don't want to be more annoying than I already have been.
(No reply after a day and a few hours.)
Thoughts: I guess he hates me now. I shouldn't even try. Why am I so stupid?


I realize how desperate this sounds, but when you're seeking the attention of someone you care about, you tend to become very sensitive to this form of unspoken virtual language. There is a plethora of reasons why the message has not been acknowledged; they may not have an opportunity to reply, they may not know what to say, they may not want to talk at the moment... But of course, the brain will immediately jump to conclusions and tell us that we are eternally damned for sending an innocent message.


As ridiculous as it sounds, I know a good amount of people who have felt this way before. I have heard of cases in which the girl has jumped to the conclusion that the recipient isn't responding because he detests her, and she says something like, "I'm so sorry for whatever I did. Can we talk about this? Just please respond to me." Surprisingly, when placed under these circumstances, it takes a great deal of self-control not to send a message that extreme.


This is one of the many burdens that social networking has caused. It's times like these that make me wonder if it's more of a curse than a blessing that we have access to each other 100% of the time.


(And after I finish this post, I check Facebook and see that I have one new message. I get unnecessarily giddy before I realize it is from someone else...


Let's see how neurotic a human can become before they explode. We might as well make an experiment out of this.)