Taylor is home

"Stick that in your blog and write it!" - Taylor Dunbar

In case anyone was unaware, I have a half-brother named Taylor. He's from my dad's previous marriage, so we share a father but not a mother. Taylor is 25 and lived in Cape May, New Jersey until recently when he moved to Philadelphia with his girlfriend. 

Whenever he visits, he brings the comic relief back to the household. It's hard to be upset when he's around because he always has something hilarious to say. When my father walked in with his long jacket, Taylor goes, "Hey, trench coat mafia." It's nice to have someone with the same sense of humor around the house every now and again.

I'm sitting in the living room right now and he just said "I saw a guy in a Michael Vick jersey walking a pit bull in Philly yesterday. I thought that was pretty hilarious."

We're currently watching football, which I don't understand or enjoy to say the least, but it's nice. Family is nice.

I went to my therapist today, and we discussed a specific person.

THERAPIST: Do you still have feelings for him?

ME: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Why do you think that is?

ME: ... I think we've covered this before.

THERAPIST: As I recall, the last response wasn't entirely clear.

ME: I know, and I can't promise it will be now, either... (Flips through journal.) He's just... We're... (Pause.) He always would say how alike we are. And I agree. I mean, we would say things at the same time. Sometimes he would say exactly what I was thinking at that moment. Even if he picked the conversation topic, it would be what I wanted to talk about. There was never a dull moment.

THERAPIST: Sort of like kindred spirits?

ME: ... Yeah, I guess so.

Therapy hasn't really been helping me. We haven't come to many conclusions about anything and I'm starting to question its purpose. In the past, I left feeling as though some part of my emotional psyche was once again concrete, but when it comes to the recent issues, I don't think there are any definite or practical solutions.

I feel unacceptably weak when it comes to my emotions. I haven't yet determined if this is a positive or negative part of my personality.